nothing.

ah ya. Saya di Indonesia. Sudah dari satu bulan yang lalu. ya tanggal 25 Oktober saya sudah kembali ke sini. Kenapa? ya kembali saya pending cerita ini. *Jadi post sebelumnya saya post saat saya sudah di Indonesia, tapi disertai tulisan yang saya tulis ketika saya di Singapore*

a little letter included for you, Mama.

Well, yet to tell you guys everything. Too much stories to tell but I can't tell whole stories together. I got many experiences about family, love, money, effort, sacrifice, socialization, work, and others. First, I think it could be superfluous if I do not attach my write when I wrote something in Singapore.

I write this text when I am alone in my dorm, yap, sunway lane street, clementi, Singapore. I’ve been almost 1 month in Singapore. Ya one month. Too much happened here. Too much stories that I really want to tell.

 First, the main reason why i’ve been here. Ya, I wanna collect the money for my mom, my family. Like I said before, My mom has a desease. Cancer breast stage 3. I take postpone for 6 months in my campus, I do it because I wanna help my family. I really really need money to cure my mom disease. I think my story would be like a movie script, haha, ya Its so awesome to tell everything. My life isn’t walk smoothly but I really enjoy my life, I’m so thankful to God for give me a great way of life then I am being me like I am now.  I wanna collect my salary to my family. Especially to my mom and my sister also my little brother. I promise to make them happy and proud of me to be her daughter and their old sister. Ya, I am working in Singapore for 6 months. Firtsly I was join this school attachment program from one of my lecturer in my campus. First, I applied to work in hotel to be a front receptionist, then I got this chance. I take it. Actually I am really worried to leave my mom in Indonesia while she is sick, but I do it for her. You know, I have to put off my veil or we called hijab to get this job.

Well, 20 september 2011, I went to Singapore. I know my mom seems didn’t want to let me go. But I still keep go and leave them, I do it for them honestly. You know from the deepest of my heart, I can’t be strong when I see my mom. I was act like never sad and keep strong on her. But actually, I’m weak.

“Mom, if you know, I can’t breathe as easy as I can here without you, I do I really need your hug, I do I really need everything about you. I always remember you, I dreamed of you every single night, my chest like full of a heavy weird thing when I know you cry for me. I’m just trying to make you happy and proud of me. You know, you are the best I’ve ever had, no one can replace you, no one. I’m so sorry to make you cry. I always try to hide my tears in front of you when I see you feel so hurt with your disease, when you tell me that you really feel painful of those virus. I am pretending that I am okay and you also will be okay. But you know what? I’m not. I’m not okay. I’m quite afraid of you will be not okay actually. Mom, I love you no matter what. “